Recovery from an eating disorder demands maturity. What is maturity? We like this definition:Maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will affect ourselves and others before we act.
---Jeanne Phillips, "Dear Abby," May 2005
In the U.S., and in other developed countries as well, we are influenced by many forces that encourage us to be immature, to act (buy, eat, drink, be sexual) on the spur of the moment, when opportunity presents itself. When we do so, without forethought or reflection, we often regret our actions and choices later, when it is either too late to change our minds or too late to avoid negative consequences.
Nonetheless, recovery demands that we grow up, that we resist the many destructive messages that society -- often in the form of advertising -- crams down our throat in attempts to get us to spend our money "perfecting" ourselves. Recovery insists that we consciously choose to examine our thoughts and behaviors, following only those that lead to health and personal growth without harming anyone , including ourselves, in the process.
You already know that we live in a thin-obsessed society. The cultural ideals held up for us to emulate are either stick thin with surgically enhanced breasts (female) or powerful with clear muscle definition (male). It's no wonder that so many people develop eating disorders when they try to achieve these unrealistic -- and often unhealthy -- images of "perfection."
Almost always professional help is required for recovery from an eating disorder, to support development of the necessary maturity, but if you want to try to help yourself, here are some suggestions. If you are not in medical danger, try them for one to two weeks. If, after fourteen days, you can't shake your preoccupations with food and weight, and especially if you don't make any progress towards changing harmful behaviors, get help from a resource person -- a parent, school nurse, school counselor, family physician, or mental health counselor. These people can be great allies on your journey to health and happiness. Don't avoid being honest with them because of guilt or embarrassment.
Note: if you have even the smallest suspicion that you are in medical danger, consult a physician immediately. Eating disorders can kill, and if you are already in trouble, you need medical attention, not self-help tips.
Anorexia nervosa
- Don't diet. Never. Ever. Instead design a meal plan that gives your body all the nutrition it needs for health and growth.
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. -- Virginia Woolf
- Get 30 to 60 minutes of exercise or physical activity three to five days a week. More than that is too much if you have an eating disorder. Be safe. Ask your physician to OK your meal plans and exercise schedule before you begin.
- Ask someone you trust for an honest, objective opinion of your weight. If they say you are normal weight or thin, dare to believe them.
- When you start to get overwhelmed by "feeling fat," push beyond the anxiety and ask yourself what you are really anxious about. Then take steps to deal with the threat, if it is real, or dismiss it if it is not real.
Bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder
- Don't let yourself get too hungry, too angry, too frustrated, too lonely, too tired, or too bored. Don't let yourself get pulled in too many directions by too many people, too many demands, and too many responsibilities. All these states are powerful binge triggers. Watch for them, and when they first appear, deal with them in a healthy manner instead of letting the tension build until bingeing and purging become the only release you can think of.
- Stay comfortably busy and avoid unstructured time. Empty time is too easily filled with binge food.
- Make sure you get enough sleep, at least seven hours every night.
- Don't diet. Dieting means depriving yourself of nourishment and pleasure. Dieting and deprivation are powerful triggers of binge eating. Note: A healthy meal plan, one that manages weight and reduces risks of medical problems, is NOT dieting in the usual sense of deprivation. A healthy meal plan respects nutritional needs and is flexible enough to include reasonable amounts of fun foods.
Anorexia, bulimia and all other eating disorders -- address the underlying issuesand
Recovery always covers at least two areas: food behaviors, noted above, and the problems that brought one to disordered eating in the first place. Changing starving and stuffing patterns to healthy eating and normal weight is necessary, of course, but if you don't resolve the underlying issues, those changes will be only temporary. When stress mounts, the temptation to resort to old coping behaviors will be too strong to resist unless you have alternatives such as the following already in place.
- Make sure that every day you spend time with friends and loved ones -- in person is best; phone and e-mail can substitute, but only once in a while. Enjoy being with people you love and those who love you. The strongest predictor of happiness is a close, nurturing, long-term relationship with at least one other person. It sounds corny, but hugs really are healing.
- Take control of your life. Learn to distinguish between what you can control (your own behavior and your own thoughts, for example) and what you cannot control (the thoughts, words and actions of others; Mother Nature). Focus on the former and let go of the latter. Make choices thoughtfully and deliberately to improve your situation.
- Make your living situation safe and pleasant. Your environment affects your mood. Structure it to make you feel comfortable and happy.
- Choose every day to bring pleasure into your life, at least for a few minutes. Every day do something fun, something relaxing, something energizing. Find something to smile over, to laugh about, even if it feels forced. Learn to enjoy small pleasures. You don't have to wait for great big ones.
- Monitor your self-talk. Challenge self-critical nagging and negativity of all kinds. Avoid pessimism, the habit of regarding faults and troubles as permanent and uncontrollable. Embrace optimism, the art of believing that troubles are temporary, controllable, and amenable to problem solving. Deliberately choose to change the subject and count your blessings when you fall into negative thoughts about yourself, your appearance, your abilities, and your accomplishments.
- And speaking of counting your blessings, do just that. Keep a gratitude journal. Make a list of all the good things and people in your life. Yes, it sounds silly, but try it anyway. Others have found that a few days of noting positive things can change perspective in a major way.
- Get beyond yourself. Look for and find meaning in your life, whether it be in spiritual experiences or a humanistic connection to others.
- Do something to make the world a better place. Don't subordinate your needs to someone else's, but do look beyond yourself. Working for the common good is a great way to feel like a contributing member of the human race, and those feelings bring well-deserved pride and self-esteem.
- Keep tabs on your feelings. Several times a day ask yourself how you feel. If you get off track, do whatever the situation requires to get back to your comfort zone.
Remember: If these tips don't work for you in two weeks, talk over your situation with a resource person -- physician, counselor or therapist. If you have even the smallest suspicion you are in medical danger, don't wait one day longer. Talk to a physician immediately. For tips on how to find help, visit our Treatment and Recovery page.
Please Note: ANRED information is not a substitute for medical or psychological evaluation and treatment. For help with the physical and emotional problems associated with eating disorders, talk to your physician and a mental health professional.
Page updated June 15, 2008
ANRED
Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
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